Thursday, 29 November 2012

iSit: Day 12 to 19

As I write this, I am eating Domino's Pizza and drinking diet pop. I'm even dipping the crust in Lite Ranch dressing. Ooooooooooh. So Bad. I'm fully aware of what I am doing. And it's delicious ... in a dirty caloric non-vegan tri(again)doshic without-chia-seeds-on-top kinda way.

Meditation won't change you overnight, but a regular practice, I am learning, will not let you get away with much unconsciously. Trust me, aside from the double negatives in that last sentence, this is a good thing.

Big brother is outside. He is a manifestation of ego. But your sacred sentinel. She is inside. Just get still and quiet, turn inward and slip through the manifold veils of thought and mindlessness. She has always been, and will forever be, watching you. Big Brother has nothing on her.

So who am I ... if not my thoughts?

Well, we know that we are what we eat. Ugh. As I wrote that last sentence approximately 50,000 cells in my body died and new ones are now being built and fuelled on cheesy chicken-pinapple-mushroom-bacon 'Za and Aspartame. Well, I guess that means it's a Greens Plus shake for dinner!

For the moment, though, I am eating my pizza slowly, enjoy it thoroughly and feeling hunger wane and fullness replace famine. My gluttonous mind, craving a wolfish winter carb-out slapped four greasy slices on my plate. But there is no way I'll feel well if I devour all of those wedges. Sacred sentinel is sparing me the anguish and heartburn.

You can sit for 49 days under a Bodhi tree or practice in a split second to quiet the mind, calm the body and free your spirit from past conditioning, present suffering and future fantasies and guessing games. Or you can even gaze at a pizza mandala, possibly taste nirvana, and just try not to take a bite!

iSit not to change myself - although transformation is often a side effect of spiritual practices. iSit and devote my self to the consciousness practice of meditation because ...'s stirring up the dust and sweeping under the rug;

... I feel calmer, clearer, happier, more fully present, but less attached to outcomes and my emotions surrounding them;

... I make kinder, gentler, more life-supporting choices;

... I feel more creative

... I'm more attentive with others and have a split second longer to check my ego before she breaks loose, finds a soapbox and a megaphone;

... I can hear negative thought patterns more loudly, recognize them as "grasping mind," and let them go, then respond instead from a place of compassion and love. Warning: this is harder in winter traffic. Although chances improve greatly, I find, when listening to CBC Radio 2 Tempo's classical music ... and when you ...

never stop practicing. 

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