My bear instincts kick in and I can be found at the fridge. My serotonin plummets. I pop Vitamin D like its Valium and wonder if yoga's a strong enough prescription, and whether I should take two or ten.
These old folds, where once I was stuck, somewhere in between figments of a better place than Here and wondering if My Life was stacking up well enough, taunt seductively, like warm blankets against the cutting cold morning air, and I want to sink in more deeply and go back to sleep.
But here's where I get my Molly-Maid on and iron out all that samsara hala hala. Here's where I fight back - like a Gentle Warrior, of course - with the weapons of Mind, Body and Breath.
Even a snake knows not to crawl back into old skin!
This year I will not hibernate in dark, unconscious caves. I will light a fire, and watch the shadows dance upon their stony walls until the flames have fanned into my heart, and dance becomes destiny.
That is why today I am starting a 30-day meditation challenge. That's right, I will sit in defiance of auto-pilot cycles of suffering. I will sit, even when I don't feel like it; and my boyfriend has even agreed to sit with me. I guess that means this month we have a standing sitting date. I might even, sometimes, sit on the spiky Medi-Mat - a.k.a. torture mat - that I just picked up last week.
Peaceful protest or sadomasochistic love-in, I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe you want to sit too?
This is my rally for reality.